Sasuke's Journal: Life with a Pedophile Snake
by Midnight Hazard
Summary: Ever wonder what happened to Sasuke after he joined Orochimaru? Our favorite little avenger starts a journal to keep himself sane while staying with Orochimaru. It makes you wonder; how can such idiots have caused so much havoc?


**Sasuke's Journal: Life with a Pedophile Snake and Other Freaks**

**By Midnight Singer**

**A/N: This idea hit me over the head in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. No idea how it got in my head, but I thought I'd give it a shot. **

**Ever wonder what happened to Sasuke during his time with Orochimaru? Well now you know.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the anime Naruto.**

June 19,

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I left Konohagakure a few weeks ago and joined Orochimaru. That man is such a creep. I guess I've decided to write this journal to stay partially sane while I'm staying at the Sound. If I didn't need revenge so badly, I would've ran out of here as soon as I stepped foot in this place.

I have a feeling that I might regret coming to this place.

I have to go train now. I'll write more later.

-Sasuke Uchiha

…

June 20,

We had to change bases today. That snake is so paranoid someone might catch him that he makes us change bases every few weeks. I think Kabuto kinda likes moving. Orochimaru usually just leaves him in charge while he sits around reading some book until everything's ready to go. Kabuto gets to act all tough and boss everybody around. I caught a glimpse of what Orochimaru was reading, and it looked like it might've been porn. Great, I'm being taught by a perverted snake. Maybe Naruto was right when he said that Orochimaru was a pedophile…

-The Avenger

…

June 22,

I learned a new jutsu today. Orochimaru's still getting used to his new body, so he's making me practice with Kabuto instead. Kabuto's really annoying. He kept taunting me about how I wouldn't be able to hit him. You should've seen the look on his face when I punched his face and broke his glasses. It turned out that those glasses were his backup pair for his backup pair and that he didn't have any more left. Now Kabuto's practically blind and keeps crashing into walls. And the only optical doctor in the Sound just got killed by some random ninja, so it's going to be a while before Kabuto can see again.

Serves him right.

-Sasuke Uchiha

…

June 24,

Orochimaru is really starting to get pissed. We still haven't found another eye doctor, so Kabuto's still crashing into doors and stuff. The snake freak needs him to do another experiment for him, but the last time Kabuto tried to do one with his glasses he blew up the whole base. (One of the Sound nin told me that.) So now Orochimaru's sending out dozens of his ninja to find an eye doctor.

I'm almost starting to regret breaking his glasses. He almost walked into my bathroom when I was taking a shower. I broke his arm, so now we need a medic too.

-The last Uchiha

…

June 27,

We finally found Kabuto an eye doctor. Orochimaru bought him about twenty pairs of glasses, just to be on the safe side. I heard he nearly cut off all of Orochimaru's hair with a kunai by accident. Who even let him near a kunai anyway?

Now that Kabuto's got his glasses back, he's been glaring at me behind the snake's back. I think he might try to get revenge or something. I'm not really worried though.

I heard that Naruto, Sakura, some random girl, and that Perverted Sanin tried to break into one of Orochimaru's lairs and take me back. They went to the wrong one. Idiots.

-The best Uchiha

…

July 1,

Things have been pretty boring lately. It's usually the same: Wake up, breakfast, train, train with Sharingan, snack, train, train with random Sound nin, listen to the boring politics of Sound, train, let Kabuto heal my wounds, dinner, read scrolls, write, sleep. And the food here sucks. I almost wish I had ramen.

We got some news from Konoha the other day. Some of our spies heard that Naruto was leaving with that Perverted Sanin for training. No one knows when they'll be back. Sakura became the Hokage's apprentice and is going to be a medical ninja. Tche, as if they could get stronger.

-Sasuke Uchiha

…

July 5,

One of Orochimaru's smaller snake summons somehow got into my room. It snuck into my clothes, so when I put them on I felt it slithering down my pants. I nearly freaked out, but being the great ninja I am, I managed to stay cool. I'm not sure, but I think one of the snakes eyes could've been a camera. I need to have a talk with Orochimaru about this…

Anyway, I think I'm actually starting to get stronger. Itachi better watch out, because he'll be dead before he knows it.

Well, maybe he shouldn't watch out because I'd probably have a better chance of winning if I caught him by surprise. Whatever, you get the point.

-The soon-to-be best ninja in the world

…

**A/N: Well, how was it? I actually like this idea a lot. But I might be biting off a bit more than I can swallow with this one. I'm already doing 4 stories right now, and I'm working on another one that might be posted later. Whatever, I'll handle it.**

**Do you think I should make the entries longer? Please tell me. And does anyone know what month Sasuke left Konoha? I figured it would be around June. Just a guess.**

**The more you review, the faster I update! ^^**


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